your "random" obsessions reveal a fragmented part of you that you're meant to reclaim

How your not-so-random obsessions in fiction can be used to become more WHOLE and expand authentic self-expression.

Fun fact: When I was a kid, I had an OBSESSION with Knuckles from Sonic games …(until Shadow came out, then I switched). To me, Knuckles represented a part of me I had a hard time expressing and inspired me DEEPLY !!!

Knuckles is so cute and strong just look at him !!!

When I was younger, I was bullied A LOT …. for being:

🍖 weird, nerdy, geeky

🍖 having some feminine qualities slip out

🍖 liking gaming and anime

🍖 hating team sports and being bad at them … and I had a really hard time standing up for myself. When I would get picked on, I would freeze or fawn and feel so weak after.

Knuckles in the Sonic world represents brute strength, willpower, and “don’t funk with me” energy. As a kid, I cravedddd that! Part of what I teach in my personal philosophy and mentorship is that:

“Your weird lil’ obsessions aren’t random and hint at the main quest of your life!”

Knuckles … carried some hints for me …

His sole purpose was to protect the “Master Emerald.” As an adult, I realize the master emerald is my own essence and my truth … and Knuckles protects it and stewards its power.

What I didn’t realize is that I was projecting a quality that I had the capacity for onto a fantasy obsession—Knuckles. The Infinite Intelligence of my Unconscious Mind knew something I didn’t—this was an energy I already was capable of, but through programming and conscious beliefs that “I was weak and not capable of strength,” because of bullies, my Unconscious Mind got OBSESSED with this character.“ Random little” OBSESSIONS are clues to your main quest …

These obsessions seem “random,” but the energy of obsession often comes from a deep and primal part of us, and it shows up quite strongly when we have taken a part of ourselves and told ourselves, “I can’t have this,” essentially fragmenting our psyche. “Random obsession” or fixation is the way our Unconscious Mind attempts to de-fragment and become whole again. Knuckles was essentially a mirror being, like, “HEY KID, I AM YOU REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE!”

Obsession is just one way the Unconscious Mind attempts to become whole again …other ways are through envy, jealousy, rage, and depression. All of these emotions, especially the ones we most hide or suppress, often hold clues and are an indication that our Unconscious Mind is trying to initiate us back into our WHOLENESS again.

So as an adult, I found this lil’ Knuckles trinket at the legendary Five Below, and sure, sometimes I still have trouble standing up for myself (hello Chiron in the 1st house) BUT, for the most part, I speak my mind, tell people to fuck off, and strongly stand for what I believe in. So I clipped this Knuckles trinket on my belt almost as a trinket to remind me of my own strength and boldness … the same way you get +11 strength when your RPG character equips that new ring.

When we can learn to speak the language of the Unconscious Mind, our “growth” and “self transformation” journey starts to feel less like trying to fix yourself on an endless capitalistic i’m not good enough treadmill … and more like an unfolding of a myth … a quest … a living breathing story that can only move through YOU the way it moves through you. People can imitate it, but it will never work.

This is what I do with my clients/students/mentees. I connect them to their personal myth. They drop the endless hamster wheel of optimization and self-help hell, and walk their main quest … engaging and feeling like living, breathing MYTH.

In order to learn the language of the Unconscious Mind and discover how to integrate the parts of you that you’ve fragmented yourself in this way, it involves 2 main components:

1. Notice where you project or feel emotions that most people would call shameful, such as:

   1. Envy

   2. Jealousy

   3. Rage

   4. Disgust

   5. Depression

   6. Shame

   7. Guilt

2. Notice what characters, symbols, aesthetics, icons, myths, stories, shit, Greek gods (or deities in other cultures), even Pokémon types that you feel deeply drawn to or obsessed with.

   1. For me, here are some examples:

      1. Knuckles and Shadow from Sonic the Hedgehog

      2. The Demon Hunter class in World of Warcraft

      3. Final Fantasy 10

      4. Percy Jackson and the Olympians series

      5. Greek Mythology—specifically Hermes, Hades, Persephone, and Aphrodite

      6. Kingdom Hearts—specifically Riku and how he uses the darkness that is “evil,” but is actually a benevolent person

Just by writing down through a log of “obsessions” or a log of “dark emotions I am not allowed to feel” is gently signaling to the Infinite Intelligence of your Unconscious Mind, “I am ready to be WHOLE again and take back what I’ve fragmented from my psyche.”

This isn’t a process you have to force or action your way too. Simply awareness and intention starts the natural inner alchemy needed to make it start on auto pilot. Once you start this process, there is no going back.

Here is a guided exercise to start the process:

The following prompts, which you can take on or do all of them, are meant to uncover these fragments. A little goes a long way. Don’t force it too fast!